Apr 1, 2012
A few words about Not My Baby. He is NOT fat. He is a growing boy that eats his kitty cereal every morning like a good little man. He knows that its ok to wake me up by biting or kissing my face, even if it is 3 in the morning and I am under the influence of whiskey and John Hughs. He has a long belly that he likes getting rubbed and he does this chattering thing when he wants to murder me. I know that you think Princess Baby is the best kitty kat, but I beg to differ. Although I am often showered with bites, scratches, and pounces (however I encourage animal behavior in animals) - he has never peed on my head or anywhere near my head. When I am doing work he will sit on my lap or crawl over the computer so that he can make it known that he is more important, nay, the most important. He kisses me ON THE LIPS, which sounds gross but is actually the sweetest thing in the world. He loves playing and knocking things over and getting into places he shouldn’t. He likes to watch people go to the bathroom which is kind of .. weird. But we all have our quirks! In short - he is the best bestest kitty ever. I know I’ve never liked cats before and I still don’t. I like cat. This cat. He’s my little monkey.

A few words about Not My Baby. He is NOT fat. He is a growing boy that eats his kitty cereal every morning like a good little man. He knows that its ok to wake me up by biting or kissing my face, even if it is 3 in the morning and I am under the influence of whiskey and John Hughs. He has a long belly that he likes getting rubbed and he does this chattering thing when he wants to murder me. I know that you think Princess Baby is the best kitty kat, but I beg to differ. Although I am often showered with bites, scratches, and pounces (however I encourage animal behavior in animals) - he has never peed on my head or anywhere near my head. When I am doing work he will sit on my lap or crawl over the computer so that he can make it known that he is more important, nay, the most important. He kisses me ON THE LIPS, which sounds gross but is actually the sweetest thing in the world. He loves playing and knocking things over and getting into places he shouldn’t. He likes to watch people go to the bathroom which is kind of .. weird. But we all have our quirks! In short - he is the best bestest kitty ever. I know I’ve never liked cats before and I still don’t. I like cat. This cat. He’s my little monkey.

Mar 24, 2012

Dearest Pee Wee,

It’s 2 in the morning here and I can’t sleep. I guess saying this on a Friday really shouldn’t cause much issue, but considering I fell asleep at 10:30 after drinking 2 cocktails and laughing with my best friend (we watched that movie Waiting, remember that movie? Ryan Reynold’s is a cartoon) I guess its not as cool as it sounds. I’m at Sarah’s right now and she lives above a noisy bar. A guy keeps shouting “Trisha don’t leave me” and the dance music is, as they say, pumping. 

 Sorry I couldn’t talk this morning. I had just gotten caught in the rain after ALMOST finishing my taxes (I don’t owe as much as I thought!) and was listening to the microphones (the band through the object) way too loud and feeling medium pensive. I’m always sad when we don’t have our usual banter, our immediately funny exchanges sprinkled with requests to do “the voice” and high pitched “I miss you’s”. But chicago was dreary today and I loved it. Perfect days are when it doesn’t rain but leaks, making all the colors richer and more saturated.  

I went for a short run today, not for fun really, but to a guy’s apartment who is selling me a dresser off craig’s list. It was only 2 miles away and walking is for the birds. However when I got there the dresser proved to be both extremely heavy and too large to fit in the car so it didn’t really work out. But I did huff and puff and sweat in front of a stranger I met on the internet (anything can sound gross if you put it the right way).  Maybe I should be more careful but this guy was super nice and it was his girlfriend’s birthday (happy birthday Amy). Besides, who wants to rape a girl that has a greasy ponytail, wears goofy sweat shirts, and can run really fast? Don’t answer that.  Anyways, this is a jumble but my brain is fuzzy.  I wonder what you’re doing right now, if you’re awake (maybe) and if a cat is biting you (not my baby loves the taste of my fingers). Whenever I’m alone like this is when I miss you the most and I know this blog is turning into a sappy love letter thing to each other but who cares. Little mom is the only one who really reads this anyways, and Mother please disregard any and all rape jokes. 

Thinking of You,

Panda

Mar 22, 2012

also, what i think i was really getting at with that post is that we should live together soon. and get a dog. i really want a dog. also, princess baby needs a brother.

Mar 22, 2012

panda,

i can’t sleep. as of late i have become incredibly good at drinking 2 glasses of red wine and going to bed embarrassingly early. like 9:30 early. remember high school? i was so tired in high-school. i would take a 20 min nap right after and was never up later than 10. i guess it didn’t help we slept in the basement. it was very dark down there. but it wasn’t cozy. let’s see. my legs are sore. i took a very long walk today. over the bridge and back. trying to clear my head? it didn’t work? although i noticed that i must give off  some kind of scent or odor. because every dog i passed wanted to let me hug them. one of my favorite childhood stories dad will tell about me when i was little was that i would so often stop during one of our walks, mid stride and listen. my ears would perk and i would very seriously say, “dog”. “do you hear that dog? there’s a dog over there” and would point in some invisible direction. i miss my dad. i miss my mom. i miss you. 

Mar 20, 2012
“How are you different?” is a question twins are often plagued with. Which is silly because if you think about it the asker is in a much better position to examine and /or appreciate any differences than the answerers (I just made this word up). To be honest its kind of a tough question, and I usually counter it with something rude like “how the hell should I know fuck off you asshole” (just kidding!). But really most of the time I’m not sure how we’re different, I just know that we are. Here is a list of things that are the same: same eyes same hair same voice / laugh same penchant for high baby voices and squeals same penchant for teasing little mom same disdain for most things same DNA Here is a list of things that are different: Caroline has a pointer nose I have a crueler sense of humor Caroline is outwardly sweet and secretly mean I am outwardly mean and secretly sweet I care more about what others think of me Caroline has a gross birthmark on her pinky finger I am allergic to nothing except bees Caroline is allergic to everything except bees Another thing that we differ / share is our takes on emotion. I am not saying Caroline is the warmest and I am the coldest, but you get where I am going with this. Over the years the gap in our emotional development has narrowed as we grew older and learned to deal with FEELINGS. However it is still not really acceptable for me to cry in front of her or others, and her reaction when I was having a bad day the last time I was in nyc was PRICELESS (she got mad!). But pathetically sobbing loudly in a towel over the stress of international art shipments (seriously very stressful)  isn’t the only thing we differ on, affection is also somewhat troublesome. Caroline still (rightly) won’t let me live down the fact that I gave her a handshake when she left for a far away college, but to be fair I still am a little weird about hugging. She has always been more nurturing than me but we can only hold hands for a few minutes before one of us says “ew” and pulls away (piggy back rides however are fair game) .But we find ways to communicate, to be close, if not always with others then definitely with each other. I can tell within seconds when she’s upset and not because she tells me. She always knows when I’m sad or mad. We often ask and answer a question simultaneously, anticipating the other’s response. Today when our video chats stopped working (we both have hilarious PC laptops) we just immediately started mouthing “I cant hear you” and then just as immediately “I love you”. We did this before trying to fix the problem and for way longer than was probably necessary. And why when these things were already obvious?  Because we’re funny. Because we know what the other is thinking. Because even with all the differences, we are the same. Because we are twins.

“How are you different?” is a question twins are often plagued with. Which is silly because if you think about it the asker is in a much better position to examine and /or appreciate any differences than the answerers (I just made this word up). To be honest its kind of a tough question, and I usually counter it with something rude like “how the hell should I know fuck off you asshole” (just kidding!). But really most of the time I’m not sure how we’re different, I just know that we are.

Here is a list of things that are the same:
same eyes
same hair
same voice / laugh
same penchant for high baby voices and squeals
same penchant for teasing little mom
same disdain for most things
same DNA


Here is a list of things that are different:
Caroline has a pointer nose
I have a crueler sense of humor
Caroline is outwardly sweet and secretly mean
I am outwardly mean and secretly sweet
I care more about what others think of me
Caroline has a gross birthmark on her pinky finger
I am allergic to nothing except bees
Caroline is allergic to everything except bees



Another thing that we differ / share is our takes on emotion. I am not saying Caroline is the warmest and I am the coldest, but you get where I am going with this. Over the years the gap in our emotional development has narrowed as we grew older and learned to deal with FEELINGS. However it is still not really acceptable for me to cry in front of her or others, and her reaction when I was having a bad day the last time I was in nyc was PRICELESS (she got mad!). But pathetically sobbing loudly in a towel over the stress of international art shipments (seriously very stressful)  isn’t the only thing we differ on, affection is also somewhat troublesome. Caroline still (rightly) won’t let me live down the fact that I gave her a handshake when she left for a far away college, but to be fair I still am a little weird about hugging. She has always been more nurturing than me but we can only hold hands for a few minutes before one of us says “ew” and pulls away (piggy back rides however are fair game) .But we find ways to communicate, to be close, if not always with others then definitely with each other. I can tell within seconds when she’s upset and not because she tells me. She always knows when I’m sad or mad. We often ask and answer a question simultaneously, anticipating the other’s response. Today when our video chats stopped working (we both have hilarious PC laptops) we just immediately started mouthing “I cant hear you” and then just as immediately “I love you”. We did this before trying to fix the problem and for way longer than was probably necessary. And why when these things were already obvious?  Because we’re funny. Because we know what the other is thinking. Because even with all the differences, we are the same. Because we are twins.

Mar 10, 2012

so i don’t have an iphone, i have a blackberry, mr. berry. i want to post a few texts between me and andrea, but i don’t know how? so i’m just going to type it out? you’ll understand why.

A: I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, but cutting my bangs with a Swiss army knife right before a date is up there

C: Whaaaaat

C: Did you hit your head?

C: Are you high?

A: I look like I’m missing a chromosome

C: You mean have an extra chromosome- trisomy 21

Sends me a picture

C: You look like a 5 yr old with Downs. 

C: But a hot one, a hot one.

C: You need bobby pins. Or a head scarf. Something.

A: But I’m already en route to the restaraunt!

C: I mean it looks like you cut your bangs with a knife. 

C: Like, which could be cool, but youre going on a date with a lawyer, I don’t think he’s going to ‘get it’

C: Maybe you should just tell him the story. It could make you endearing

C: Or retarded. It could make you seem retarded.

C: No risk No reward!

A: Shiiiiiiit

C: I’m laughing so hard right now, never change

C: As if you could

Feb 14, 2012

get it together mom

me:  hello?
 Sent at 10:31 AM on Tuesday
 
andrea:  hi
 
me:  how are you
happy valentine’s day
why hasnt mom sent me chocolate
doesnt she love me anymore?
 
andrea:  she didn’t send me any either:((
andrea:  doesn’t she know we’re single?????????//

Jan 28, 2012
Anonymous asked: Could your parents tell you apart when you were growing up?

Our parents had a really difficult time telling us apart. They confused our names and faces all the time, my Dad still calls me Caroline sometimes (also Elizabeth or Vanessa - I’m worried about him). We never played tricks because it would just confuse them more, I’m still not 100% sure I was born Andrea. However like most small children we adapted, and we found solace in a hybrid identity “andreine”. We eventually grew out of this as we got older and our differences surfaced, however no one is our family still really knows for sure which is which. 

Jan 26, 2012
Dear Princess Baby Peanut Caroline, I came up with a new nick name for you - neat right?! You and your cat can be sisters now.  On Tuesday I woke up at 5am because sometimes I can’t sleep for more than 4 hours in a row. I went to get a glass of water and I scared the shit out of my roommate who was STILL AWAKE FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. and I was already getting up for my day!!!!! I then watched 3 episodes of Downton Abbey and drank 3 sips of a beer (It was still dark out and we were out of juice). Later in the morning Lenny took a portrait of me and I made him really mad because I hate getting my picture taken (words like “pulling teeth” and “stop making this so weird” and “why don’t you like. pose” were used). The rest of the day was devoted to  2 shoots, one at a restaurant - one at a boutique - and I killledddd it. Some days you just feel like a better photographer than you are ya know? Tuesday was one of those days (check it at andreadonadio.tumblr.com). Afterwards I went home and worked on editing my images for 432483247 hours. I watched tv the entire time even though I wasn’t even paying attention - I just put it on for background noise.  Wednesday was just drinking coffee and ediiting more images,  also watching tv and eventually drinking wine - in bed by 12 as per usual. These days of working from home are great, but they are lonely. I often find myself cozy under a blanket with no one to talk to.  No one to laugh out loud to the really funny jokes I come with up in my head. It would be great if you were just here next to me being quietly annoying and getting me more coffee / going to get me breakfast. I need you, and I really need someone to  vet my Netflix choices. Being a singleton sure is the pits sometimes :(  -Andy

Dear Princess Baby Peanut Caroline,


I came up with a new nick name for you - neat right?! You and your cat can be sisters now. 

On Tuesday I woke up at 5am because sometimes I can’t sleep for more than 4 hours in a row. I went to get a glass of water and I scared the shit out of my roommate who was STILL AWAKE FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. and I was already getting up for my day!!!!! I then watched 3 episodes of Downton Abbey and drank 3 sips of a beer (It was still dark out and we were out of juice). Later in the morning Lenny took a portrait of me and I made him really mad because I hate getting my picture taken (words like “pulling teeth” and “stop making this so weird” and “why don’t you like. pose” were used). The rest of the day was devoted to  2 shoots, one at a restaurant - one at a boutique - and I killledddd it. Some days you just feel like a better photographer than you are ya know? Tuesday was one of those days (check it at andreadonadio.tumblr.com). Afterwards I went home and worked on editing my images for 432483247 hours. I watched tv the entire time even though I wasn’t even paying attention - I just put it on for background noise.  Wednesday was just drinking coffee and ediiting more images,  also watching tv and eventually drinking wine - in bed by 12 as per usual.
These days of working from home are great, but they are lonely. I often find myself cozy under a blanket with no one to talk to.  No one to laugh out loud to the really funny jokes I come with up in my head. It would be great if you were just here next to me being quietly annoying and getting me more coffee / going to get me breakfast. I need you, and I really need someone to  vet my Netflix choices. Being a singleton sure is the pits sometimes :( 
-Andy
Jan 24, 2012

dear andrea,

this morning i woke up and in this order cleaned my kitchen, put on a pair of pants, decided i hate drinking tea, and then finished episode two of the ken burns documentary on the civil war. today is my first day off in 8 days? one would think i have things to do, errands to run, people to see and places to go. but let’s be real.i’m going to watch episode 2 and 3, think about the formation of a unified cultural identity and what that means, if anything, to my life, eat a 3 dollar deli sandwich and finally take a nap. i might clean my bathroom too, ok i’ll probably clean my bathroom, but i won’t clean my room. it’s too messy and a fine layer of princess baby’s hair is dusting all my furniture and things therein. what else, oh yesterday i had a headache and skinned my knee. i had to move a stack of old trunks 1 foot over and instead of taking each one off separately and moving and re-stacking them in careful order, i just laid on my back and pushed the bottom trunk as hard as i could. i broke 4 mason jars and stained my white cardigan. it was raining and i got wet walking home. feeling defeated, i rationalized spending 20 dollars on sushi and drank my roommate’s chilled red wine (she just left for thailand, she is not going to notice). what’s the point of this blog post? i miss you. i wish you were here. i miss having someone to spend time with where i still feel like i’m alone, just with myself. 

-c

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